1. As much as your marriage is over, there are things in life that require your attention one hundred percent, as your children and your job. They need you more than ever.

2. The grief and pain can be tough, but you have to set aside feelings of revenge. Remember that marriage is part two and final too. The faster you let the anger, much faster you will recover yourself.

3. Take advantage of your free time to talk to friends that you like doing activities such as sports, talk to your friends, get a hobby … you allow yourself to connect faster.

4. Lean on whom more trust in your environment, family and friends, they will know advise in times as tough as this and be able to understand you. If you need it and anxiety does not allow you to prosper, it would be best to consult with a psychologist.

5. Before taking any decision that may harm you and sign papal without understanding, consult with a divorce attorney in Bakersfield.

6. As much as you want to console with your spouse, it is in your best interest not to.

7. Find the roles of property acquired before marriage and all those acquired in common.

8. Save money, be smart about what you are spending money on. Divorce can become costly and you likely won’t be able to recover many costs associated with it.

9. Divorce can be very hard on children. Express that both parents still love them and the problems you are facing are between the parents, and not the children.

10. Agree as soon as possible visitation, taking into account the needs of your children and their other parent. This will make the transition easier and prevent the intervention of a judge.

There are many types of family, not just formed by father and mother. There are hundreds of single parents who deal exclusively for the upbringing and education of their children because the relationship did not work or because there was never a partner. In this case, fears, doubts, problems and decisions are made ​​unilaterally.

However, there are single parents one day remake his life. A new partner fills them with happiness and decide to return to share your life with another person. What enconces with children? How did they take? How do I explain it? How to integrate a new person into the family circle?

How to integrate the new boyfriend of the mother with the children

A friend had a two-year relationship with a boyfriend after breaking with her ​​husband . Her two children accepted him immediately, everything went well, but when the relationship ended, the kids had very bad. Now that she has returned to find someone, their children do not want any relationship with him. Everything is very tense and is desperate because my friend does not know how to achieve a rapprochement between her new boyfriend and her children.

Input we can not think that children react badly to mom’s new boyfriend or girlfriend dad. Every child is different and behaves in a certain way, also often it depends on the approach we do. If the initial reaction is negative , we must put all our love and patience little to get used to the new situation. How?

– Children are very observant and realize our mood without even open our mouths. If you see our happiness , we are happy and we can also convey how good it makes us feel that new person, gradually cease to see him as an intruder.

– Fear is one of the major obstacles in these relations. The children are afraid that this new person will ‘steal’ the love of mom or dad. We must make them understand that everyone has a place, and nobody can ever take away the place they have in our hearts . The words, however, not enough. Devote quality time in which they have a mom or dad to themselves is important.

– They must know that this person has appeared in their lives, it is not intended to take the place of his father or his mother . It will not be the rival of the biological father, will have its own space and place within the family.

– Do not force things , give freedom to boyfriend or girlfriend and children themselves to create their own space in which relationships are important. Especially when it is not the first time that the mother has a boyfriend and children do not want to return to grow fond of someone. It is the end of the lesson of life, throughout our existence appear and disappear people, some were very important and others go unnoticed.

I do not deny the divorce as a solution to some marital conflict-indeed, in some cases I consider it the lesser of two evils, as not deny the right of individuals to seek a happy marriage; but this reflection is intended to alert about the injury that separations often result in children .

These always beautiful fruits of love that existed at one time, may find that suddenly your home has been broken and suffering disputes their parents, hurtful phrases, hostile environment, divisions of property and separation, the peer learning unconstructive behaviors that might engage them their future.

The children amid the breakup of the couple

The divorce of the parents and the reaction of the children

Perhaps at this point of the XXI century we are witnessing a change in family models as is the inherited. Perhaps marriages are no longer “until death do you part,” but beyond forecasts and predictions.

Another circumstance that should be avoided at all costs, is to discuss the divorce in front of children. There is evidence that many children end up blaming the separation of their parents with unpredictable consequences that this has on their self-esteem and psychological balance. It is recommended to deal with them the reasons for the separation , so that they understand that the right to happiness on which the divorce is based , has nothing to do with maternal or paternal love.

But prudence precipitate small entry into a new family: Before you introduce a couple, you must know that little has the ability to take that relationship. Once consummated the divorce, it must get rid of hatred, rancor and resentment, even to the children. Unforgivable condemn the emotional abandonment in order to avoid encounters with the former partner. It is important that, no matter how difficult the break, the father-child bond does not suffer more than the separation itself implies. That link, ultimately, it is for life.

Nothing justifies transform small spies to report what does the other party, or hostages of affection to get an advantageous negotiation. If it is necessary to establish a visitation, it should not lose sight that the priority is to satisfy the need to share together, child and parent, without making this a sanction mechanism. Some studies claim that divorce is one of the strongest causes of stress that affects children and that this in itself can generate anxiety , fear, uncertainty , ambivalence and different behavioral disorders.

So if you have conflicts in your marriage and divorce is imminent or, at least, is one of the possible solutions, do not forget that:

1. Children are not guilty of marital conflict and should not pay for the mistakes of their parents.

2. Despite the distance, they must know that they will have the love and support of both parents as if nothing had happened.

3. The well-being, safety and health of the children are well worth to put aside grudges, revenge, hatred … It’s your choice to make a friendly atmosphere prevails in the separation.

If you are interested in finding out more about the divorce process and exactly what is involved, please contact a reputable divorce attorney in your area.